![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:41 • Filed to: marwidge | ![]() | ![]() |
Mrs. Shop-Teacher: “I have a surprise when you get home tonight.”
Me: Should I be excited? Or Scared?
MST: *shrug-emoticon*
Me: If it’s a severed head, I’m going to be very upset.
UPDATE:
16 oz bone-in ribeye, seasoned, buttered, and broiled to perfection. Sausage stuffed mushrooms, and a bacon cheddar twice baked potato.
BOOM!
Best wife EVAR!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:43 |
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What if it’s a puppy
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:43 |
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It’s going to be new socks or something like that lol
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:43 |
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Me: Should I be excited? Or Scared?
Yes and yes.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:44 |
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I’ve got both covered!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:45 |
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It better not be a damn puppy.
Oh crap. It might be another cat!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:45 |
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I honestly would not put that past her.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:46 |
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Mazel tov.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:48 |
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It can’t be THAT.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:48 |
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![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:49 |
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It can’t be THAT!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:49 |
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Me: If it’s a severed head, I’m going to be very upset.
Maybe it’s a gun rack?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:49 |
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What if it’s a Challenger?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:50 |
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Right, because that would be on 4/1
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:50 |
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Surprise, Calzonegolem coming over for dinner!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:50 |
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I don’t even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate and entire rack.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:51 |
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WOW! You came all this way just to surprise me!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:53 |
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Maybe it’s a new 3d rendering program?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:53 |
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I hope, for you, it’s a good as all of us married men dream it could be, following a text like that.
If it is, I suppose we might not hear about it...
More likely, she got a load of mulch delivered.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:54 |
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Well, I mean, what if it was Kim Jong-un’s severed head? Would you really be that upset?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:55 |
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Wuv. Twue wuv.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:55 |
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#Buttstuff? Ohh yeeeaaahhh! *sunglasses guy emoticon*
Lol jk
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:56 |
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Bingo.
Mulch, or maybe there’s a dead rat under the porch for you to take care of.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:57 |
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Or maybe between the walls! Surprise!!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:59 |
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“Welcome home honey. My parents are coming to live with us for while”
![]() 11/03/2016 at 15:59 |
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Hey, did you know your little darling dropped the F word at preschool? Suprise! You get to work that out.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:03 |
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Oh... FUDGE...
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:10 |
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I wish I wasn’t pathetically lonely.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:10 |
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calzones for dinner?! now I am hungry.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:11 |
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Usually for me “surprise” typically means she rearranged the living room again and everything is misplaced and/or missing.
RIP charge cable to my bluetooth headphones.
At least she changes the living room often enough that some objects do magically appear again.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:16 |
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Hey bub ... Eat me!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:22 |
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Our couch really only fits in the living room one way, so that’s not likely.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:23 |
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Considering I’ll be coming home with out kids in-tow, I doubt it will be as good as it could be.
I’d be OK with a load of mulch actually.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:24 |
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She’s been in preschool for two months now. Kinda surprised to have not gotten a call home yet ...
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:25 |
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*Shop-Teacher sheds a single tear*
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:25 |
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Hahahaha!
..... no .....
but I took the bullets out of the gun this summer.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:27 |
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What in the hell did I just watch?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:28 |
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I actually suggested we offer to have her dad move in with us. I don’t think he will, but I’d be fine with that.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:28 |
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Maybe she finished the Metro for you? :P
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:28 |
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I thought you said you didn’t have any guns for that surprise gun rack you’re getting tonight...
(As I was finishing typing the above sentence I was struck by what I can only describe as innuendo overload. lol)
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:28 |
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Less so.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:29 |
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That would be pretty random.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:29 |
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“Wanna fuck?”
“new number who dis”
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:29 |
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Damn dude. Way to take all the oxygen out of the room!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:31 |
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The only way she “finished” the Metro is if she blew it up with a stick of dynamite, or tossed a mal0tov cocktail into it.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:32 |
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You got me there!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:37 |
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![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:39 |
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Noooo....poor Metro! :( I like small basic cars! :(
![]() 11/03/2016 at 16:40 |
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One day, man. One day...
You (we) are old.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:00 |
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Indeed we are.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:16 |
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And that’s okay.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:42 |
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I am completely OK with it.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:45 |
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Sold the metro for a profit, then bought something.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:47 |
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I would actually be kind of impressed by that.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:49 |
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Same here, brother. Life is good.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:49 |
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Maybe the thing is a matching scooter
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:51 |
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Now is the perfect time to buy a scooter actually.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:52 |
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Yerp. I wouldn’t want to go back.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 17:58 |
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Is it in a bag as to prevent drippage and is it in a cooler with ice as to prevent a smell? If yes to both it may be passable.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 21:48 |
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You so LUCKY!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 21:54 |
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My girlfriend made a pizza and fries. She’s also been ripping epic farts and burps all night. I’m pretty proud of her (for the burps and farts). I keep asking her when they’re going to pay her for doing the sound effects for Jurassic Park.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 21:57 |
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A root beer keg & tap?
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:03 |
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Something about the angle of the shot woke up my hole phobia.
PSA - don’t Google hole phobia
I miss steaks. Gave up on beef about a year ago. Very hard :/
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:10 |
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Alrighty then.
I don’t eat it terribly often, but I don’t think I could give it up.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:11 |
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That would be amazeballs!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:13 |
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Sounds like a pretty good evening to me!
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:13 |
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Yep! Don’t I know it.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:13 |
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Very nice indeed. Love a good steak. Never usually like the bone in kind such as pork or lamb chops or t-bone steaks but had a tomahawk steak last month and it was glorious as the bone was merely attached to the meat as opposed to down the middle.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:14 |
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The bone in this kind of steak is also on the side. It keeps in the flavor supossedly.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:26 |
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Nice. I can’t understand peoples love of chops though.
“ye’, give me some meat but make me work for it by trying to find the bone inside with a knife and fork, after covering it in gravy, etc...”
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:28 |
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Yeah, I’m with you there.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:34 |
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I’m a sucker for potatoes and cheese and bacon of most any kind. Now I’m hungry again.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:42 |
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As am I.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:50 |
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You should marry her and have her babies. and feed them steak.
![]() 11/03/2016 at 22:54 |
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I have it here and there when someone serves it to me. I just won’t buy it or order it. I do miss the taste of it
![]() 11/03/2016 at 23:35 |
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I think we must double date...lol.. mine rips epic farts.. wakes up in the night and asks if that me or her..
![]() 11/04/2016 at 00:08 |
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Whoooooaaaa! massive amounts of military grade AWESOMENESS !
I quote WW much as possible as well
![]() 11/04/2016 at 00:48 |
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You are not worthy.
![]() 11/04/2016 at 07:09 |
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Good idea!
Why didn’t I think of that?
![]() 11/04/2016 at 07:12 |
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It was FANTASTIC!
WW is such a great and quotable movie.
![]() 11/04/2016 at 07:12 |
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I’m scum. I suck.
![]() 11/04/2016 at 07:40 |
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She dah best!
![]() 11/04/2016 at 09:02 |
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No doubt!
![]() 11/04/2016 at 09:30 |
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I’d say, considering the range of things the surprise could have been, you made out pretty well...
![]() 11/04/2016 at 10:07 |
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I very much agree!